Adult Day Care

Adult Day Care affords your loved ones the comforts of home and at the same time gives families the respite they need. This care is usually reasonable priced and may even be subsidized by certain local resources. Offered in community centers and through some senior programs, Adult Day Care provides social, recreational, meals, and sometimes transportation services. Does this sound too good to be true? It may be if your loved one does not agree. He or she may vehemently resist going to day care only adding to your stress. Unfortunately, in some communities, day care isn't available or the center does not accept those with Alzheimer's. Due to popularity and growing demands for such care, hopefully your community is one that offers this care.

Checklist for Adult Day Care

• What days and hours is the center open?
• Is the day care licensed? Check with the state health department for any substantiated complaints against the day care.
• Is transportation provided to/from home? Is there an extra charge?
• What is the cost? Hourly, daily or weekly? Is there financial assistance? Make sure you understand clearly what is and is not included in the cost.
• What specific conditions are accepted? Incontinence? Persons in wheelchairs? Persons with memory loss?
• What is the staff to participant ratio? How does it compare to state standards? What is the staff ratio to participants with dementia? What is the composition of professional and paraprofessional staff?
• What activities are provided? Are there individual and group activities? Are the activities stimulating?
• Are the meals well balanced and tasty? You may want to eat a meal.
• Do you feel welcome? Is staff willing to spend time finding out what you want and need? Were the programs and activities explained?
• Is the day care center clean odorless and pleasant?
• How does the staff interact with participants? Is staff pleasant to the participants?
• Is the furniture comfortable for the participants? Are there loungers for relaxation?
• How long has day care been in business? Who is owner or sponsoring agency?

After giving up my life as a television executive for nearly a year to go take care of my elderly parents, trying to get control over my extremely rebellious father, I was advised to get them enrolled in Adult Day Care. I had absolutely no idea what that was, having no experience in eldercare, thinking it was a glorified nursing home or something. Even though my parents were still together after 58 years of marriage and in their own home with full-time care, I didn't realize that they needed much more daily stimulation. They'd want to sleep all day and then my father would be up all night, wreaking havoc, making everyone miserable. The Alzheimer's Association helped me understand how important it was to give them something to do outside of lying in bed 23 hours a day—“waiting to die.” Oh-kay, but how in the world was I going to get them to consent to go there?

My father fought us about it for weeks, yelling that he would, “not go, NO, nooope, not going, just forget it!” and he refused to take a shower or change his filthy coveralls for over a week. We persisted and finally got my parents there for their first day. My mother loved it, but my father was completely repulsive and tried to sabotage it. The Day Care staff kept trying to separate them because he wouldn’t leave her alone, holding on to her too tight and touching her inappropriately. Then, he threw his lunch on the floor in a raging top-of-his-lungs temper tantrum, and when that didn’t make them let Mom be with him, he went into the bathroom and tried to escape out the window. When he couldn’t get out he came out of the restroom with his coveralls unzipped exposing himself. Then, he even messed in his own pants and threw another swearing temper tantrum when they made him sit away from everyone because he smelled so bad. Four hours later when we arrived to pick them up, the social workers were completely exhausted and fed up with him, saying that he could not return because he was so disruptive.

See more at www.ElderRage.com